SO.... Who's one psychotic lesbian short of a nuclear holocaust
Welcome back crazy cats... You've all been waiting so patiently for an update of this frankly fabulous website.... Remember to maximise the page to give these 'celebs' (HA HA HA) enough room!!!
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Bill Owen plays the hilarious 'Compo' in "Last of the Summer Wine", in which he demonstrates his subtle method of character development by falling off various moving vehicles, walls, etc every week. The penultimate episode of every series usually ends with 'Compo' and his goonish friends being pushed down a steep Yorkshire hill in a wheel-barrow without brakes. Oh how the elderly roared with laughter (you can hear them in the audience).... |
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Jilly Goolden is the posh wine-sniffer from "Food and Drink" (mainly drink in her case). Apparently, her permed hair was once mistaken for a haystack by a shortsighted calf, and it was down to famous chef Chris Barry to rescue her from the troublesome bovine. Since her television contract ended, she can be found behind the dustbins at the BBC studios brandishing an oversized bottle of cider whilst belching the tune to 'God Save The Queen'. |
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'Talented' impressionist Keith Harris provided the voice for Orville the Duck, a weedy and camp green thing which kept moaning about how he wished he could fly. Much funnier was Harris's other puppet, a ginger monkey called Cuddles, which humorously snorted every few seconds as if he had a Cocaine addiction. Harris was very popular at Royal Variety Performances for many years, until somebody politely pointed out that you could see his lips move. He hasn't been seen since. |
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Little Sandi Toksvig is a Viking with no neck who delights in shouting with a strange husky voice. Despite doing very few proper shows nowadays, she often features as a guest on humorous quiz programmes such as "Call My Bluff", where she exploits her skills as a compulsive liar. She once made Denis Nordern believe that his microphone had been burnt in the Great Fire of London, while Keith Chegwin was reduced to tears when he discovered that she'd lied to him about a new series of "Cheggers Plays Pop". As Chegwin left the BBC studio later that day, he was heard reffereing to Toksvig as a 'poisonous danish gnome'. |
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Jeremy Beadle's gags are so consistently unfunny that they make me cry with misery... This stand-up comic is mostly famous for his annoying presence on the ITV channel throughout the 1990's. However, since his demise from the 'Youve Been Framed' show (now presented by the unforgivably greedy Lisa Riley), Beadle's career has become as withered as his right hand.
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View this image of 'Tommy Boyd'. He was a really bad kids TV presenter, whose finest/worst moment was the dire "Saturday Starship", which nobody watched because "Saturday Superstore" was miles better and had (1980's personality) Sarah Green in it. Boyd now works as a composer of music for soft-core porn films, and is sometimes wheeled out for rubbish such as "Give Us a Clue", "Celebrity Squares", etc. in the event of a proper celebrity not being available.
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It still defies belief that in the early 1980's the BBC allocated a budget to make a children's programme concerning a yellow cone called Wizbit whose best friends included a giant rabbit called Woolly and a polluted swamp called Squidgy Bog. And as if this wasn't bad enough, Paul Daniels hosted it. Since the 1990's Daniel's has become increasingly bitter about his loss of fame and shys away from public view. However, Debbie Magee is still often seen at jumble sales trying to palm off her sparkling sequined shoulder-padded dresses to unsuspecting old ladies that wear beige. |
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